Monica's Massacre
by Arcane Yrth
Summary: A very disturbing story which recieved one flame. Intended for halloween, it describes 4 horrific character deaths, was written in dialogue form and contains randomness.


**F.R.I.E.N.D.S : Halloween special**

**How it**_** really**_** ended**

**Warning: This fanfic includes some very dark humor and has been given an M rating (For mature adults aged 16+)**

...Ease in on Monica's and Chandler's apartment. Monica can be seen cleaning and dusting some of the furniture...

Monica: (To herself) There. Now all I have to do is clean the duster. (She throws the duster into the washing machine and begins to add some washing powder...)

...Chandler enters the apartment...

Chandler: Hi honey. Oh look how happy you are, doing the cleaning.

Monica turns to greet Chandler, they embrace...

Monica: Hi sweetie, sorry I couldn't join you at the coffee house; the apartment was in such a terrible state this morning, I just couldn't leave it...

Monica trails off in mid-sentence as she begins to smooth down Chandler's hair with her hands...

Chandler: What are you doing?

Monica: You've got some fly-away hair, just let me get that...

Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh no, do you think anyone saw it?

Monica: Hang on, your hair is a mess. (Stands back), Come to think of it, _all_ of you looks a little messy.

Chandler: Huh...?

Monica: Just wait there a second, I need to sort you out. You could be much neater than this.

Chandler: Uh...OK.

Monica goes into the bedroom, she is in there for exactly 2.5 seconds. She then returns holding an axe. ...

Monica: I'll have you tidy, Chandler.

Chandler: OH MY GOD!!!

Chandler tries to run away for a second but Monica manages to chop off his head, (with her freakishly strong arms). She then begins to chop off his arms and legs...

Cut to scene at Central Perk coffee house. Phoebe, Joey, Ross and Rachel are seated on the couch. Phoebe has on the coffee table a plate with a brownie. Ross and Rachel each have a mug of coffee...

Ross: Hey, why isn't Chandler here?

Joey: He said he needed to spend some quality time with Monica.

Rachel: Well duh, they're a married couple.

Phoebe: (Surprised) They are?

Ross: Don't you ever watch this show?

Phoebe: Oh my God, we're a show?

Rachel: Yeah, since when were you this stupid?

Phoebe: I dunno. I have to go to the bathroom.

Phoebe goes to the bathroom and leaves her brownie un-eaten...

Joey: Er...Doesn't anyone else have to go to the bathroom?

Ross: You just want us to leave so you can eat Phoebe's brownie!

Joey: Aww, you read the script already.

Rachel: Ross, why are you here?

Ross: (Sarcastic) ...Oh, excuse me, I forgot; I _never_ go to the coffee house with my friends...

Rachel: You're supposed to be watching Emma!

Ross: What? I thought _you_ were gonna watch her!

Rachel: Hello, Do you see a baby anywhere within the vicinity?

Ross: We have to go...

Ross and Rachel very quickly leave the coffee house...

Cut to scene inside Monica's and Chandler's apartment. The apartment is very clean; Monica is sitting at the dining table reading a magazine entitled 'Your Home: Organized'. Ross and Rachel then enter the apartment...

Rachel: Hi Mon. Can you believe, your brother _forgot_ that he had sent Emma to your parents this morning?

Ross: It's an easy mistake to make, OK.

Monica: Ross how can you be so stupid?

Rachel: Yes Ross, how can you be so stupid?

Monica: (Putting down the magazine) ...Yes, you need to be more organized... (eyes narrowing) ... You _both_ need to be more organized...

Rachel: Monica what's with your voice?

Ross: Hey, and where's Chandler?

Monica leaves the kitchen and goes into her bedroom. In three seconds she returns holding the same axe from before, (which, amazingly is very clean). She is grinning creepily...

Ross and Rachel: AAAAARGGGGHHHH!

Fade out to the sound of slashing and Ross and Rachel screaming. Fade in to the same scene in Monica's apartment. Everything is back to where is was, all clean and tidy; and Monica is sitting at the table reading the 'Your Home: Organized' magazine...

...Phoebe soon enters the apartment...

Phoebe: Monica, I came back from the bathroom and my brownie was _GONE_!

Monica: It's not such a big deal.

Phoebe: (Shaking Monica by the shoulders.) But someone ate my brownie and it was GONE. _GONE I TELL YOU_!

Monica: (Putting down the magazine.) OK, that's no reason to get all un-organized.

Phoebe: Huh...?

Monica: (Grinning), yes you seem very messy, but I can soon get you sorted...(Gets up out of her chair...)

Phoebe: Thanks Mon.

Monica: (Shrugs and uses an automatic grin), Well, what are friends for?

Phoebe: What a cheesy line.

Monica: (Is about to leave but turns her head), Excuse me?

Phoebe: Yeah, you're really organized, but you have like all the cheesy lines in the_ universe_.

Monica: (Slightly insulted), OK, now you're _really_ unorganized...(Goes into the bedroom and returns with the axe...)

Phoebe: Oh, that's a nice piece, my mother had one just like that.

Monica: It _is_ your mother's!

Phoebe: Well it can't be because she used _her _axe to try to kill herself with, and _that _axe is- _AAARGH!_

...Fade out to black...Fade in again to the apartment. Monica is seated at the table, this time reading a magazine entitled 'How to wash out blood stains'...

...Joey enters the apartment...

...He wanders over to the fridge...

...On opening the fridge he discovers several jars of some sort...

Joey: (Holding jar in one hand), Hey, what's in these jars?

Monica: (Grinning), Oh, just something I've very nicely organized.

Joey: (Excitedly) Looks tasty!

Joey then leaves the apartment. Monica doesn't turn her head a single time as she turns a page on her magazine...

...Soon Joey enters the apartment again, with an empty jar in his hand. He has the red contents of the jars on his face...

Joey: (Walking back to the fridge) This stuff is _good_! (Gets an armful of jars and tries to eagerly open one...)

Fade out to black...

...The End

Did you guess what was in the jars?

Thank you so much 'caseclosed' for that erm...wonderful review, but I find it ironic that you should insinuate that I am the one who's "stoned", since what you wrote was so grammatically incorrect that I had to read it four times to understand that you didn't use any punctuation.

On the other hand, thank you Sneaker89 and ALLRRPRP for those much nicer comments! I'm glad at least one of us appreciates this story.

BWA HA HA! Happy Halloween!


End file.
